An Unworthy Man Who Is
by Kumori sensei
Summary: Sasuke struggles with his past but Naruto's right by his side to light the way. NaruSasu. I own nothing.


An Unworthy Man Who Is

Sasuke walked down the streets of Konoha, ignoring the stares of the citizens. Since his return home, there had been the rebirth of his fan club and a new one filled with haters. Sasuke didn't blame them for being suspicious of him. Honestly, his fan club returning was more surprising and confusing to him. Without doing anything to prove himself they simply returned to "loving" him.

The shinobi headed for Team 7's old meeting place. He stopped on the bridge, leaned on the railing and looked down at the flowing water without much thought. Then he heard the sound of running footsteps heading straight towards him but he wasn't worried. He knew who it was. A loud, obnoxious voice called out to him and before he could reply he was being hugged from behind.

At one time Sasuke would have given his friend a weird look and asked what he was doing but the blond always answered the same way. He always just said he looked like he needed a hug. The raven didn't agree but he'd grown to accept it. Naruto embraced him from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder.

As he stared into the river, he thought back on everything that happened. Of all the things he did, Naruto was the one who suffered the most by his hand. Sasuke kept asking himself why he forgave him, why everything was okay. He scowled and clenched his fists in frustration. The raven didn't have any answers and yet he kept Naruto close. He basked in his light but he didn't deserve it. To Sasuke he only took advantage of the blond's kindness.

He slowly turned in Naruto's arms. The blond was surprised by this but quickly straightened. When the two were facing each other, and after they stared at each other for a while, Sasuke finally asked why the blond was so nice to him. Cerulean orbs were wide with surprise but softened with affection at the rare expression of vulnerability and uncertainty in those words and in the endless depths of the raven's onyx gaze.

"Come on, that's obvious! It's because you're my precious friend!" Naruto grinned at him. "I know you have it in your head that you've committed some unforgivable crime but you're wrong. My feelings certainly never changed. There was never a time I didn't simply want what was best for you. I wanted you to be happy and, well... with me."-Naruto blushed a little here and stuck out his tongue-"I've never viewed anything you've done to me as needing forgiving so yeah, I'm nice to you. I spend time with you, smile for you, and everything else because I care and I _want_ to."

The disinterested mask finally cracked a little and he looked away. Sasuke swallowed thickly and then dropped his head to the blond's shoulder. He rested his forehead against it and hid his face from view. Naruto smiled a little at the clearly flustered boy and tightened his arms around him. Sasuke hesitantly allowed his arms to settle around the sweet shinobi and he pressed himself against him. He still didn't quite see himself as worthy of Naruto's affection but knowing the blond felt that way was overpowering.

He quietly mumbled the blond's name, not expecting or needing any kind of response. Of course, since Naruto heard there was one. He rubbed the raven's back and murmured reassurances to him. When Sasuke finally said that he didn't deserve any of this, Naruto gave a smile that seemed to say he expected this. The blond tightly held the raven to him and told him, "If you feel like you aren't someone worthy of it then make yourself someone who is."

"I may be too selfish for that." Sasuke said.

"That's fine too but you know, Sasuke," Naruto smiled, "I don't think that's true. If it bothers you enough then you'll do something about it. I have complete faith in you. Although, I really don't think you need to change!"

Sasuke smiled a little, a rare thing, and hid his face in the blond's neck again. Seeing Sasuke act like this was weird to Naruto. It told him how upset he was. The raven, who had never once reciprocated any of his hugs, was now nuzzling his neck. Sasuke was a private person who rarely ever expressed himself, never mind like this. Naruto knew this about him, knew that he never showed his weaknesses or doubts, and it made him never want to let him go.

The attention they drew to themselves quickly had Sasuke composed again and he pulled away from the blond. The cheery boy really wished Sasuke wouldn't make such a blank expression. He knew he didn't like people seeing the vulnerable side of him but he just wanted to see him smiling. Naruto knew he hoped for too much though so he smiled tenderly at his friend.

To the blond's surprise, Sasuke appeared to be embarrassed by the expression and looked away. Naruto giggled when he saw this and took the pale man's hand. As Sasuke's head snapped to him in surprise he was dragged away by the oblivious blond, who stared ahead with an easy-going grin and didn't see the scowl on Sasuke's face or the slight blush.

To the raven's exasperation, he was dragged to Ichiraku. Naruto paid Sasuke's expression no mind, completely and entirely ignored it all together, and dragged him further until they were seated inside the small restaurant. The blond ordered his standard miso ramen and then turned expectant eyes on Sasuke. The onyx eyed man could not ignore the glowing eyes watching him excitedly and reluctantly ordered a beef bowl with a scowl.

Teuchi smiled at his favourite customer and his friend. He nodded to both of them and energetically called to Ayame to prepare the meals. While they waited two cups of tea were placed before them. Sasuke sipped at his and eyed the blond who completely ignored his. He wasn't really sure why Naruto brought him here. Sure, he was upset but did the idiot really think this would cheer him up? That unfortunately might have been the case.

"Why did you bring me here?" Sasuke asked to verify things.

"Huh? I was hungry, why else?" Naruto said as though it was obvious.

Sasuke had nothing to say in response and hung his head in defeat. The blond being hungry didn't mean Sasuke was and he shouldn't have dragged him off without confirming it first. The raven decided to just be glad this wasn't Naruto's idea of cheering him up. It meant his knowledge of him wasn't as lacking as Sasuke was worried it was.

Before long, their orders where placed before them. Naruto loudly called out a thanks as he separated a pair of chopsticks and dug in. The darker man silently did the same. Of course, unlike Naruto, he didn't inhale his food and instead took his time with it. In the time it took Sasuke to finish his one bowl Naruto had three.

After thanking Teuchi and Ayame he paid for the both of them before he took Sasuke's hand again and ran off. Sasuke was a bit surprised by this and asked why he did that to which Naruto sent him a knowing look and stuck his tongue out at him. He laughed at the annoyed expression the raven made from the response and explained that he "wasn't stupid and knew he didn't really want to eat there". Sasuke felt that it was stupid Naruto felt obligated to pay because of that since he chose to order something of his own accord but decided to let it go. Naruto would be Naruto after all.

It had gotten late out and they were walking through the quiet streets hand in hand. A few people gave them curious looks but most ignored them. The ones who did however gave disapproving looks toward Sasuke. Through their grudging eyes, they screamed that they saw Sasuke unworthy of the blond only fueling his own belief that was the same. The raven tried to pull his hand away, drawing the other's attention which had the blond glancing back at him.

Their eyes met and Sasuke looked away guiltily. Those onyx eyes expressed such self-loathing it made Naruto's heart hurt. He pulled them to a stop and frowned at his most beloved friend. The raven looked up at the blond and met his fierce expression. It was a serious expression that rarely showed itself except in battle. Sasuke knew why it was there but it did nothing to change his mind. Naruto appeared to notice this because he sighed and stared at him with a stormy ocean in their depths, obviously trying to come up with a plan of action.

After rubbing his head in frustration he peeked at the raven with one eye. Sasuke had the same lonely, desolate expression and Naruto knew he had to do something. He dropped his arm and his face settled into something Sasuke couldn't read. It made him nervous. Not scared nervous, he already knew how Naruto felt, but a nervousness that came with not knowing what to expect next. With a calm and determined face, Naruto stepped closer to Sasuke.

The raven's response was immediate. Onyx eyes widened and he took a step back. Naruto frowned and took another step forward and Sasuke repeated his actions as well. He could tell he was making Sasuke uncomfortable but he didn't care. He wouldn't have Sasuke feeling the way he did. It was unacceptable! So Naruto ignored the slightly older man's shaking head that silently told him to stop and used the grip he had on his wrist to pull Sasuke to him and tightly embraced him.

Onlookers gasped at the sight of something so intimate between the two of them. In their eyes, it confirmed the relationship they were in. The pair were not in any romantic relationship though. The most intimate they had been before today were Naruto's "surprise" back hugs. Naruto's only motivation right now was to comfort and convince Sasuke that he wasn't doing anything wrong. He wanted him to understand he was worthy though he understood it wouldn't happen overnight. On the other hand, Sasuke continued to have a negative viewpoint.

"Naruto... Stop." Sasuke said hoarsely.

"No. Sasuke, you need to listen and listen well." Naruto said firmly and pulled away just enough so he could capture Sasuke's eyes. "You can't just hang onto the past forever. You have to move forward, looking to the future. I'm not telling you to forget it, that would be stupid. You should accept it and where you went wrong and move on. You _aren't_ the same person you were before. Is that so difficult for you to see?"

"Naruto..." Sasuke looked away.

"I know... _I know_ you can't just forgive yourself overnight and be okay with everything that happened but," Naruto stared at Sasuke with overwhelmed eyes and squeezed him tight, "you need to try. I wish, I really wish I could fix things for you. I wish I could make you not worry so much, make you see that things are different but I can't. What you need... is to forgive yourself. Until you're willing to do that, I can't help. Oh, and believe me I've tried. I've told you how I feel about everything, smiled for you everyday so you know that I'm not upset with you. I've been patient and waited, hoping, praying you'd see that things are okay, that you'd forgive yourself but you never do.

"I don't know how to prevent the memories from holding you back. All I can do is show you the future you _can_ have if you'll just allow yourself to have it. Whenever I see you, you look so miserable and all I want is for you to be happy. I keep trying and trying to show you that it's okay to forgive yourself but it doesn't reach you. You're everything to me. You've known, haven't you, all this time... That I..."

Sasuke tensed and jerked away, suddenly resisted against the blond again. He was trying to run away, to avoid hearing the words he knew were about to leave that man's lips, and both of them knew it. Naruto cut himself short and clamped his mouth shut. He could see Sasuke was panicking. The reaction proved that he was right but the onyx eyed fool not saying anything about it meant he felt the same. Naruto knew because the raven wouldn't have let him continue on like that otherwise. No, he pretended not to notice because he felt the same way and didn't think he deserved him or had the strength to lie to him about it.

Blue eyes filled with sadness closed in resignation. He wanted to beg him to forgive himself, to smile and be happy. He didn't care how Sasuke found it or with whom so long as he had it. Naruto couldn't say all that though. None of that would help him right now. Naruto breaking down and just begging for him to come to terms with things would only put more pressure on Sasuke, just like him confessing would. So he kept his mouth shut. What the raven needed him to be was strong and encouraging so that's what he would be.

"...I'll be here right by your side, forever and always." Naruto assured him with a small smile.

Sasuke looked up at him again, suddenly stationary. Naruto swallowed thickly and tried to rein in his emotions, tried to keep them in check. He couldn't let Sasuke see how tormented he was right now. However those endless depths were swirling with so many emotions, all so blended together that the blond couldn't hope to name a single one. All he could say was that whatever was going through that guy's head was torturing him.

"I'll wait as long as it takes for you to realize you're being an idiot and forgive yourself." It was intended to be a lighthearted comment but Naruto couldn't make his voice work properly and a single tear slipped past his façade.

The people around them, who had gathered over time, were all but forgotten. Even Sasuke, who was so conscious of their judging stares earlier, didn't realize they were still there. The raven stared at Naruto, opened and closed his mouth but didn't what to say. Naruto could feel his mask falling apart and started to pull away, so he could leave before Sasuke saw any more than he already had. Then they were abruptly reminded of the audience they had.

Someone had picked up a palm sized rock and hurled it at Sasuke's head. Naruto's head snapped over to it and he hurriedly tried to catch it. Thanks to all the kunai he had to deflect over the years he barely managed to catch it. Cerulean orbs glared in the direction it came from as he crushed the rock in his anger. A menacing aura bled out of him. The few people who had thought to mimic the culprit's actions dropped the rocks they picked up and as the blond turned his hard eyes on everyone around them, they all scattered with their tail between their legs.

The distraction helped Naruto pull himself back together. His attention was drawn back to Sasuke by the awkward coughing and muttering of his name. The dark aura left him as he looked down at the raven. He made a surprised face and laughed in a somewhat strained manner as he realized he had unconsciously pulled Sasuke back into his arms to block him from anyone else who might of tried to hurt him.

Naruto released Sasuke and took a step back with an "oops" escaping him. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, messed up his hair, and apologized with his standard goofy grin. On the outside, Naruto was back to normal but on the inside he was a bit of a mess. Sasuke had already seen enough to know that and silently stared at him with unconvinced eyes. Naruto noticed the look but pretended not to, slipped his hands behind his head and chatted aimlessly with Sasuke.

They just stood there as Naruto talked. The raven stared at him with unsettled eyes. There was a part of him that wanted to protest to the blond acting that way, he didn't want their opinion of him to change and, of course, believed he deserved it in the first place. The thought of everything Naruto had just said and how sad he looked made him flinch and kept his mouth shut though. Sasuke knew how much everything affected him and how hard he tried for him now. It would be unfair of him to ignore all that and continue on as he had.

Sasuke almost took a step forward before he turned around and walked away. The blond made a surprised face and hurried after him. The raven kept his hands in his pockets and brooded as they walked. He was essentially ignoring Naruto since he knew he wasn't saying anything important. The fool barely even realized he was there anymore but he was the only thing on his mind. He had never realized how much Naruto did or how hard he tried. He hadn't realized how much he struggled for and protected him or how strong he was for him.

He kept it up the entire time. Waited and hoped that Sasuke would come to his senses. All he wanted to do was light Sasuke's way to his happiness. The raven became even moodier as he thought about how Naruto had held out his hand to him the whole time, patiently waited for the moment when he would take it because he sure as hell believed that one day he would no matter how far in the future that day may be.

Sasuke looked over at the cheerful man, who strode by his side and reminded him of what he could have once he finally let go. The blond's promise to stay with him no matter what rang in his head and the realization that this man would only ever be his hit him like a ton of bricks. He trembled at that understanding, that regardless of how they moved forward from here Naruto was already his. He understood that today, tomorrow, next and last week, a year from now or twenty, all these days the blond was his.

They stopped in front of Sasuke's house and the raven turned to him. Naruto stared at him and his onyx depths told him everything that was going through his head. He could see how Sasuke struggled with his view on things and everything he'd just learned. He could also see the guilt Sasuke felt for ignoring his feelings and the worry for what he was putting him through. Naruto smiled softly at the raven and leaned in and abruptly kissed him.

The onyx eyes widened in surprise but he was given no time to react. He even had to doubt if the kiss had really happened it was so quick and Naruto was smiling at him as if nothing ever happened. Then he took a step back, obviously planning to leave Sasuke for the night and he didn't stop him. As he walked down the porch steps he glanced back at the raven who simply stood there watching him and smiled again.

"I meant everything I said, you know." Naruto grinned. "And don't worry, I'm fine and it's okay you haven't said anything. I get it. Besides, one day things will change. You can't be stupid forever, you don't have it in you."

Naruto sent him one last cheeky grin before he ran off. As Sasuke watched him go, he was suddenly certain Naruto had kissed him. And oddly enough, he found he wasn't as upset about having his feelings addressed as he thought he would be. With a slight blush and a very quietly murmured, "I know," directed to the blond's words, Sasuke turned around and headed inside.

In the raven's heart, the seed of Naruto's hopes had been planted and slowly it would sprout. It pushed away Sasuke's doubts and freed him of his shackles. It helped lessen his heartache and guilt while Naruto personally destroyed the rest. The blond's feelings finally reached him and he slowly healed, eventually giving himself to the man who waited so patiently and never gave up on him and he finally found his future. Sasuke found it in the warmth of Naruto's love.


End file.
